Developing a Conscious Relationship Together

In the last few years a new paradigm has emerged in couples relationships. This new conscious approach to relating intimately represents a complete shift in our orientation, the processes involved, and even the goals of our being together. And yet it offers a level of harmony, intimacy, growth, and fulfillment that we hoped for when we first met.

Just as it implies, a “Conscious Relationship” is one where each of us stays conscious. That means staying open and conscious within as well as conscious and responsive to our partner’s inner world as we move through life experiences connected together..

In a Conscious Relationship this connection is sacred. Something magical happens when you feel connected within your Self and truly open and connected together in your appreciation and love with your partner. You can always tell when you are fully present together, and when your hearts are truly open to each other. Just as you can tell when your partner has contracted inside, shut down or distant, when people go unconscious in the relationship.

Gaining self-awareness is the foundation that will enable partners to stay conscious and connected together. If they lack awareness and understanding of each other’s inner world of core emotional needs and sensitivities together, however, how will they be able to respond when their worlds inevitably clash? And if those needs and sensitivities are not honored, how will they each thrive in the relationship over years together?

Also, if we are unconscious of the forces and pressures in each other’s inner world that distance the other, no wonder we trigger each other and become righteous when those inner pressures conflict. Isn’t that what an argument is?

But how would you be expected to make sense of someone else’s inner world? After all, people certainly are different. And typically you are drawn to someone as a life partner whose personality is fundamentally different than yours. This is because the different natural gifts in their persona complement you, expand you, and enrich you in your personality. As you enrich theirs!

However, this also means that the partner brings into the relationship different core needs, sensitivities, insecurities, inner pressures, and specific imbalances in their personality. And it is when those clash that tensions arise and couples begin to have a hard go.

In lacking these shared fundamental awarenesses, then when tensions arise no wonder partners feel righteous. After all, each feels that their world is the “norm.” And that is why they tend to blame the other. Yet it is simply because they do not understand – themselves and their partner’s inner world.

This can’t be good for a long term relationship. Over time, the tensions, blaming and arguing typically result in emotional distance. And left unchecked, it can eventually become too much.

Gaining these new shared awarenesses together of each other’s inner world enables us to stay conscious and aware of the inner pressures and sensitivities affecting each of us in the relationship. So we both are able to recognize and own them whenever they emerge, instead of unconsciously and freely acting them out. Or stay stuck in denial about them by always being “right.” In staying unconscious, no wonder relationships can be difficult.

Lastly, with these newfound awarenesses couples discovered that they now processed differences, tensions and issues in a completely different way than before. This led to a completely new orientation, with new frameworks and tools, for safely resolving conflict together in the relationship. As a result, unresolved issues no longer go underground and accumulate over time.

This is why it is important for couples to gain the awareness and skills that will enable them to stay fully open and conscious together. So they sustain their innocent connection within themselves and with each other.